Update: Arrested Development and Venture Bros. reviews

Venture Bros. Season 5 Reviews

So I just realized that I wanted to review every episode of Arrested Development season four and The Venture Bros. season five.

And they’re back to back. Arrested Development is currently streaming (I’ve made it through around four episodes) and The Venture Bros. starts June 2, so I think there’s going to be some overlap.

What I’ll probably do is space out the Arrested Development ones for a while, since they’re not time sensitive and were dropped in one big lump on the viewing public, while The Venture Bros. is airing on a traditional weekly schedule. Who knows what I’ll get up to. What I thought would be a nice easy way to WRITE THINGS ON THE BLOG I OWN now actually feels really intimidating.

Is there either show you think I should prioritize? Or do you not care about anything I have to say ever?

Review: Earn More Tips on Your Very Next Shift, Steve DiGioia

Earn More Tips On Your Very Next Shift, Steve DiGioiaFTC Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in exchange for review. No money changed hands and all opinions presented here are my own.

Here’s something not many people know about me: I used to wait tables.

It wasn’t something I did for very long, thank goodness, but I was rather good at it, if my tips were any accurate measure of such a thing. I came home from work dead tired and drained, but I was making great money. I had had no training whatsoever, and it wasn’t a job I was interested in keeping, but I was doing very well at it.

Here’s why: waiting is customer service. That’s it. Once you wrap your head around that, it becomes a lot less intimidating. You might think the most important thing is to get the food to your tables quickly, or to make sure you’re refilling drinks before they have to ask, or to make pleasant conversation, and all of those are certainly good things, yes, but ultimately you’re there to, as Simon and Garfunkel once put it, keep the customer satisfied.

When that’s your priority, the job goes a lot more smoothly. Why? Because mistakes happen. That’s inevitable. Plates come out late. Steak is overcooked. Nobody told you you’re out of roasted beets. It happens, no matter how good a waiter you are, so you shouldn’t bank on providing a “perfect” dining experience. You can’t. You bank on providing a “pleasant” one, where mistakes are responded to in a professional and courteous way. As a diner you may not even remember all of the times you went out for a meal and had everything go silently right…but you will remember that one waiter who had to deal with something going wrong, and made it up to you. That sticks. That’s good service.

I had the chance to review Steve DiGioia’s new book, Earn More Tips On Your Very Next Shift, and was interested in doing so with my customer service background. It has a telling subtitle: “Even if you’re a bad waiter!”

What Steve means by this is kind of what I was getting at above: you can’t be Superman.* He’s not calling you a bad waiter because he thinks you show up to work reeking of cigarette smoke and scream profanities at customers you don’t like. He’s calling you a bad waiter because…well, you probably think you are. And if you think you are, you’re never going to get better, because it’s not a question of “being a bad waiter” so much as it is not being aware of how to improve.

Steve’s approach is interesting, because he doesn’t expect you to turn into a champion waiter overnight, or ever. Instead he lays out around twenty brief chapters of small adjustments you can make that will increase customer satisfaction. That’s all. Why? Because you’re in customer service. And that’s the whole point.

I like Steve’s advice, because it’s realistic. In the chapter about wine he doesn’t lay out every type and what it complements and how to describe it and demand that you memorize everything he says…instead, he instructs you to “cheat.” He wants you to instead learn only about a handful of wines that your restaurant offers. Why? Again, because it’s about customer service, and not about retaining a wealth of wine knowledge. If you know enough to suggest a good wine and answer a few basic questions, the customer will have his or her needs met…and that’s, again, the whole point.

A lot of what Steve has to say here applies to customer service in general. That’s a field I’ve found great success in, because I like to make people feel better. I can’t always fix their problem, and sometimes there’s genuinely not a problem to fix. But that’s okay, because what they want is to feel better. Something that small really does make the difference between someone who is good at their job, and someone who should probably move on to something they enjoy more.

His writing style is a big brusque, which can seem a little dismissive or callous, but ultimately he’s hammering home a very simple point: you can do better. There’s always one more thing to learn (whether it’s where the spare sippy cups are kept or how to get to the nearest bookstore) and you can always deploy that knowledge to make your customers happier…and thereby earn higher tips.

It’s a win-win-win: if you get more tips, you’re happier. If you’re getting more tips, that also means your customers are happier. And if your customers are happier, your restaurant benefits both from having those customers and from having a great waiter. It’s an excellent way to realign perspective, regardless of what line of work you’re in.

However the presentation of Earn More Tips is a bit lacking. Steve set out to write a book that you could read before a shift (it’s only around 80 pages long) and immediately put into practice what you’ve read. On that note, he’s succeeded. For someone looking for text that’s a bit more in-depth, citing research or social experiments, exploring the psychology of customer interaction…they might want to keep looking.

The book can sometimes read like a transcript of somebody giving a great PowerPoint presentation; it feels like you’re getting the overview without the details. Steve, I’m sure, would argue that that’s what he set out to do.** That’s totally fair. But, personally, I’d love to see a more in-depth followup designed to sit on a shelf and be referenced by managers building their staffs, to complement the approach of this one which is designed to be read in a car or a break room waiting for a shift to start.

There are also a few annoying spelling and grammatical issues, as well as some formatting choices that work against clarity. For instance, Steve’s major points are given box-outs to help them stand out. This is fine, except that they often rely on what came just before in the text, and sometimes the text that follows responds to it, meaning the eye is drawn to these boxes first, when really everything needs to be read in sequence anyway.

It’s not a major problem, but one worth pointing out. It’s certainly made up for by Steve’s conviction, and also the simple fact that he’s right; you really can do better, whoever you are, and whatever you do. His advice is simple, because it doesn’t take much to give somebody a better night than they would have had otherwise.

If Steve’s book had been out when I was a waiter, I could have learned quite a bit from it. But that’s nothing compared to what it could have taught my fellow servers. Maybe I’ll buy them some copies now. They’re probably still there…

FTC Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in exchange for review. No money changed hands and all opinions presented here are my own.
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* In my very first customer service job, a coworker gave me this exact advice. It’s not worth relaying the context; it’s stuck with me ever since, and context has changed a thousand times over.

** He’d also argue that I should be referring to them as “guests” instead of “customers.” He’s right. Old habits die hard.

External: Turtle Tale Name Contest

Turtle Tale name contest

Friend of the website Tony Miller got in touch with me to let me know about a contest he’s organized with Saturnine Games. You can read the whole thing here, but the short version is that their upcoming 3DS eShop game, Turtle Tale, stars a hero that still doesn’t have a name. But you can fix that:

From now until May 31st you can submit name ideas through a number of various outlets. You can go to Twitter and tweet your ideas to @SaturnineGames and @Nintendo_Okie. Be sure to include #nametheturtle in your post. You can send an email to nametheturtle@nintendo-okie.com. If you’ve got a Facebook account you can go to the Saturnine Games page or the Nintendo Okie Facebook Group and submit your ideas there. Entries can be submitted through all of the various means, but please don’t spam the same name to them all, be creative.

Anyone can enter, but if you live in North America and happen to be one of their favorite entries, you’ll also get a free download code for their excellent game Antipole. And I’m not just saying that…when I got the chance to curate my own shelf in the 3DS eShop last summer, this was one of my selections. Here’s why, if you don’t remember. It’s pretty awesome.

Anyway, that’s all…just wanted to pass on the information. Now get turtle namin’!

Review: “Finale,” The Office

Finale, The Office
Well, I didn’t expect to catch the final episode of The Office, but I did. I was looking for something to watch, saw a retrospective documentary on the show followed by a new episode, and remembered — oh yeah… — this show is ending now.

So I tuned in, and the format of the episode kind of suited the fact that I hadn’t been watching for a while. I saw a few episodes of season 9 (up to the point where one of the new guys tries to date rape Erin and nobody has a problem with that) and then tuned out. But “Finale” is structured to check in on these characters after an artificial absence. We’re catching up with everyone, even as we’re saying goodbye. The fact that there really was an absence for me might have worked in its favor, or maybe it didn’t. But it should have. It also probably should have been a little better than it was.

The episode’s central conceit is that the documentary crew has finished filming and the series has aired. Now, for whatever reason, they’re filming extra footage for the DVDs…ignore, I guess, the fact that they’ve been filming these people for nine solid years and should already have plenty of “extra footage,” but this show lost touch with any semblance of reality ages ago.

And that’s kind of the problem. At some point you either throw up your hands and say, “Okay, this show is a cartoon with an impenetrable logic of its own that shifts not only from episode to episode but often from scene to scene, and I’m fine with that,” or you stop watching completely. (I did the second thing.) “Finale” only really works, though, if you see these characters as real people that are worth caring about. The episode tries its damnedest to make that stick, but ultimately the damage has been done. These aren’t real people, or anything like real people, and no amount of end-game pathos will retroactively redeem the mess.

That’s not to say it’s bad…it’s not. As an episode of television, it’s fine. As a permanent sendoff to a particular series, it’s better than The Office deserves. But it’s still a bit of a muddle, and one that tries to punctuate a story other than the one we’ve actually been told.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been tuned out for almost a full season, but I really didn’t care at all about Dwight and Angela getting married. Compared to Jim and Pam, or even Phyllis and Bob, this didn’t register as a wedding. It was just a bunch of characters together. You don’t need to have real emotion at the core of every scene in a sitcom, but you need something, and if it’s not going to be particularly funny it might as well be charming, or touching, or dramatic. This was just…there. They’re married now. And since the episode split nearly all of its time between the wedding and the “cast reunion” or however I’m supposed to refer to that, one of those things really should have gone somewhere, or had some sort of narrative arc.

I did like a few things in the episode, though. For starters, maybe it’s just me, but seeing Dwight firing people as the new boss really suggested that he might be the best man for the job after all. How many offices do you know of in real life that had almost zero employee turnover for nine years?

So seeing Kevin and Toby fired, Stanley retiring, Nellie moving, Andy and Darrell following their dreams, Creed on the run from the cops, and ultimately Jim and Pam leaving as well…that made sense. But all it does is remind us that this sort of thing never happened before, which is a problem, and is probably how The Office settled so easily into stagnation in the first place. We need shakeups like this, and they can’t always come in the final episode. The half-hearted non-explanation that Toby always blocked people getting fired in the past only raised further questions. (Such as…uh…why?)

I also liked the fact that Andy’s story saw him being buffeted by cruel public taunting due to…well…the fact that he acted like a jackass on national television and then had a breakdown. Of course, Andy already acted like a jackass on national television and then had a breakdown, again and again for years and years, which the documentary crew caught in full, but for some reason a clip of him crying on American A Capella Idol or something is what does the trick. Again, don’t ask. Just go with it, because the moment when he’s teased in a bar and Darrell asks him if that happens often is just heartbreaking enough to be worth it.

As you can see, though, I can’t even praise the things I liked about the episode without it dredging up even more I didn’t like. And that’s what The Office has always been to me: great ideas and flashes of brilliance that fizzle far too easily. Great moments are undermined by reaching for lousy gags, emotional episodes are followed by everybody in the office having a dance party for no reason, and characters that finally begin to demonstrate some growth have their personalities rewired entirely the next time we see them. It’s disarming, and it’s impossible to form a bond.

Yes, I was moved by Andy’s closing thoughts about how he used to spent all of his time missing Cornell and now he spends all of his time missing Dunder-Mifflin, and how he wished it was possible to know when you were in the good old days, but which Andy is this? The career kiss-ass? The boiler waiting to blow? The hopeless romantic? The neutered nincompoop? The conniving villain? The spineless salesman? The words have meaning of their own, but they’re emanating from an empty shell that could have — and should have — been a rich and complicated character.

I don’t know. It had its touching moments, but that’s because it’s touching by default when two people who are in love do something nice for each other, or historical antagonists let down their guard to be friendly for a change, or people look back and realize they let good things slip away. That’s not down to the writing or the acting…that’s just human nature, and not much of a compliment for the episode itself.

So much of it, even for a presumably carefully-constructed capper, just feels tossed together. I’m not sure why Ryan and Kelly had to come back if all they could think to do with the characters is pair them off and have them be miserable again. I’m also not sure why they were at the wedding of two people who were never fond of them to begin with. Nor do I know why the writers would have put them there instead of the cast panel, where they would have had a logical reason to be.

And I don’t know why the two new guys were at the panel, when people who would have been watching the show would have had a lot more questions to ask someone like Todd Packer, or Karen, or even pointless Gabe who would have had more history with the production and its larger moments.

But, above all, I’m not sure why we didn’t get to hear much from Michael Scott. Yes, he was there. Yes, it was very nice that he was Dwight’s surprise best man. However I want to know what he thinks of the documentary that aired. I’m not sure why that was skirted entirely. Presumably he’s changed a lot and is no longer like the man he once was. That’s great. But for seven years he was documented being an obnoxious, domineering, broken asshole; now that’s aired…and he has nothing to say about it? Personally I’d have been happy with him saying, “I chose not to watch” and leaving it at that. I don’t need a monologue of embarrassment, I just want to know his reaction because that would help to shape him as a character.

Of course, nobody’s been a character here for a very long time. They’re costumes and zingers, so of course they can’t tell us what they think; the writers don’t even know.

Ah well. It had Dwight treating a stripper like a waitress, and I enjoyed Meredith for the first and last time when Li’l Jakey shows up to the bachelorette party. There was also a succession of progressively better moments with Creed, who has been a lone highlight of episodes for a long, long time.

His final song, a stretch of musical gentleness, suggested a much better episode than what actually preceded it. And his little reminiscence of being hired and choosing his desk, just before being led off in cuffs, was great too.

Goodbyes are messy. I know that. Maybe that’s the one thing that did make the episode real. But since these people haven’t been people for so long, I find the sendoff to be more a wistful love letter to what should have been, rather than a fitting cap to anything that actually was.