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BADVERTISING

Just a quick update. A reader asked me if there’s anything I could do about an ad he keeps getting on this site. It’s a video, he says, that autoplays and he can’t find a way to shut it off.

The answer is yes, I can do something about it. However it’s a bit more complicated than it might seem.

On this page there should be two ads. I don’t intend to add more — I think that’s plenty — but I don’t determine their content. The ads are served by Google, and are specific to your own browsing history. Obviously this doesn’t imply that you’re getting obnoxious ads because you’re searching for obnoxious things; it just means that if you search for, say, computer repair, you’ll get ads related (however tangentially) to computer repair, and some of those might be obnoxious.

The reason I bring this up is as follows: your browsing history is different from mine. So if you contact me about an ad in which a CGI dog screams profanities at you and your children, the odds are very good that I’ll have no idea what you’re talking about, and therefore I can’t help you.

When you do encounter an ad here that you dislike, I want to help. But no matter how specific your description of the ad is, what I need from you is the target URL.

The target URL, basically, is where the ad would take you if you clicked on it. With that information, I should be able to block the offending ad without a problem.

You don’t actually need to click the ad to get me that information. You should be able to hover over it and see where it points. Or you may be able to right-click the ad and copy the destination URL that way.

Either way, however you manage to get that information, contact me (my email address is on the About page) and let me know the URL of the offending ad.

Without the URL…I’m afraid there isn’t anything I can do. I apologize for that; it’s just that the nature of Google’s ad service only allows me to take action in one very specific way.

Anyway, keep an eye out, and let me know if you do encounter an ad that interferes with your experience here. Don’t feel like you’re stuck with them, or that you have to put up with whatever happens to load for you that day.

Say the word, and I’ll get it taken care of.

Another Birth, Another Day

Just a quick post as this blog turns four and I turn thirty-four to thank everybody for reading, for sticking around, for calling me out on the dumbass things that I say, and for enhancing any of the accidentally intelligent things I type here.

Special thanks to all of those who took the reader’s survey. I’ll be digging into the replies more substantially in the near future, but for now, two things:

1) Congratulations to Geoffrey, who was selected via random number generator as the winner of the giveaway. I found it interesting that only about a third of the respondants left their email address. If it was a matter of simply not being interested in the drawing, then that’s no problem at all. If, however, there was any concern that their replies would be matched up to their email addresses…well, let me know, and I’ll try to think of some more reassuring way to conduct similar surveys in the future.

2) Unsurprisingly, a large number of respondants had something to say about the comments section on this blog. In terms of functionality…I know. It’s the pits. I’m also fairly limited in how much I know about hand-coding WordPress. (I’m limited to 0.) However I’m willing to invest the time to learn or to find a friend willing to help. So let me know (below or otherwise) what you’d like to see in terms of comment functionality on this site. Facebook integration? Up/down voting? Other things that aren’t coming to mind because you guys know a lot more about this than I do? Let me know…no idea is a bad idea, but I certainly won’t implement just anything. Let me know however you think the commenting might be improved, and I’ll do my best to improve it.

Otherwise, I can’t thank you folks enough. To know that anybody reads my stuff is flattering. To know that it’s you guys reading it…well, I don’t know what I did to deserve that, but I’m glad I did it.

I hope this past year for you was as good as it’s been for me.

Final Reminder: Make Your Voice Heard!

Just a friendly reminder to make yourself heard via the Noiseless Chatter Reader’s Survey.

You can take the survey here:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/V7RHBHK

It’s very brief and largely multiple choice, and it will help me refine the site and its approach as we move forward. I’d appreciate it greatly if you took a minute or two out of your day to help.

If you do take the survey, you can choose to be entered into a drawing to win the Thomas Pynchon novel of your choice.

I’ll run the survey through the end of the week and then draw a winner.

Thanks again. Please do take the survey!

Breaking News: Podcast to Launch in 2007

Some of you may remember my original site, which was located at phil-reed.com. I’m not hyperlinking that because 1) it hasn’t been there for years and 2) it seems to intermittently become a porn site.

It was…different. Like Noiseless Chatter in some ways, probably, but I was also blogging much more regularly about myself. I’d post writing and some other projects, but it was mainly a livejournal writ large. In short if you weren’t around for it, you didn’t miss much.

There was one feature, though, that came together right at the end of that site’s life, way back in 2007: a podcast.

(That’s a period-appropriate photo of in the header, by the way. Man, I look great when you can’t see me at all.)

Only two episodes were produced, and I lost the files at some point since then. In my mind, they were great. I’d think back on them and genuinely wish I’d kept doing them.

The concept, originally, was to have talented folks “perform” excerpts from novels. This proved pretty difficult for various reasons I would honestly only bore you to list here.

Ultimately, though, I came up with what I feel was a much better evolution of the idea: everyone would perform monologues written by me.

That would help in terms of having a consistent voice and artistic direction, as well as helping me tailor themes to each installment. I also wanted a hand-picked spacey soundtrack, with each monologue performed over either long instrumental passages or unsettling, jolting loops. I wanted comedy as dark as I could write it, which, looking back, was a bit cheap…or would have been, if the material hadn’t been elevated by the absolutely stellar roster of performers I brought together.

I remember wanting a very, very specific atmosphere for these…I wanted to create this little sonic universe for people to inhabit for half an hour at a time. In my mind, in the past, so long ago…I did that.

At least, I assumed I did. The files were gone, and my memory was all I had.

Friend of the website (and the webmaster) Austin Ross happened to have both podcasts after all this time, and he sent them to me today. I’ve uploaded them for your listening enjoyment. (Or…not.)

And, honestly? These have held up pretty damned well. If anything, they’re better and more cohesive than I remember them being. Of course, you might hate them. By all means, hate the hell out of them.

I remember the very last email I got while that site was still in operation; a school girl was asking for permission to perform the “Photographer” monologue I’d written. I don’t remember the context. I don’t know if it was part of larger show or simply as an audition piece. I definitely gave her my blessing. I wish I could have seen it. Being asked that question was easily one of the most flattering moments of my creative life.

These have me thinking about starting it up again properly. I have no idea how frequently I’d produce them, but is there any interest in a podcast that makes you want to kill yourself? LET ME KNOW.

(Seriously, though…let me know what you think.)

And does anyone want these in mp3 format? I can upload those, too. I have no idea what podcasts are.

Podcast #1: LOVE

Contents…

“Julia” – Medeski, Martin, Scofield and Wood / Fund Raising – James Lawless
“Assassination of the Sun” – The Flaming Lips
“Amnesia” – David Byrne / Overpopulation – Andrew Edmark
“Something for Rockets” – The Benevento Russo Duo / To Kiss a Girl Like That – James Bleeker
“Wot’s…Uh the Deal?” – Pink Floyd / Entrapment – Philip J Reed

All monologues written by Philip J Reed with improvisation by their respective performers.

Podcast #2: DEATH

Contents…

“I Know It’s True But I’m Sorry to Say” – Violent Femmes / John Lennon – Austin Ross
“Albert” – Phish / Never Told My Mother I Loved Her – Philip J Reed
“It’s a Bit of a Pain” – Faust
“Song For Guy” – Elton John / Choking – Jonathan Capps
“Golden Hours” – Brian Eno / Photographer – April Cowgill

All monologues written by Philip J Reed with improvisation by their respective performers.

Quick Update: Survey and Reviews

So! Thank you to everyone who filled out the 2015 Noiseless Chatter Reader’s Survey. On the very first day I had more responses come in than I had total during my last survey two years ago. That says a lot about how much this site has grown, so thank you. That’s humbling.

If you haven’t filled it out, please, please do. It’s only 10 questions (many multiple choice), and it helps me immensely, especially when it comes to what you want to see here, and how you’d like to see it.

The link is here:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/V7RHBHK

If you do take the survey, you can enter to win the Thomas Pynchon novel of your choice! My Primer on the author is a good way to help you decide which. It’s a small incentive, but if it gets you to take the survey and ends up exposing somebody to a great writer, I think that’s pretty great.

I would like to address two things I keep seeing coming up in survey responses.

1) People liked the Breaking Bad reviews. Trust me, I liked them too. If there’s interest, I’ll perhaps start over and review each episode in turn at some point, but for now I’ll just officially announce that I am going to be covering Better Call Saul. The first season, at least…and we’ll decide on further reviewing from there. So stick around! I have no idea how that spinoff / prequel will turn out, but it’s guaranteed to be interesting.

2) People don’t know where to watch ALF. This came up a lot. People either like or skip my ALF reviews, but either way many of them expressed disappointment that the show is so hard to find, and therefore they can’t follow along themselves. So, allow me to help: Hulu has the entire series, and you can watch it without a Hulu Plus account. They’re the edited versions, which means you lose out on anywhere from a few seconds to a couple of minutes with each episode, but it’s still watchable (I say “watchable”) in that format, and in fact those are what I used for my season one reviews anyway. There’s also this user on Youtube who seems to have every episode uploaded on his channel. Judging from the running times they are also the edited versions, but, again, they’re there, so if that was one of your concerns, hopefully these options will help!

Anyway, that’s all for now. I’ll be back on Monday (most likely) with my review of the Inherent Vice movie; I just wanted to pop in and give a little update.

Again, if you haven’t taken the Noiseless Chatter Reader’s Survey, please do. I’d appreciate it more than I can properly express.

The link is here:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/V7RHBHK