Noiseless Chatter

It’s happening right now!  Come join us at the 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash.  Terrible Xmas specials, live chat, strange music, and two or three other things!

To attend, visit gotomeet.me/xmasbash.  It’s GoToMeeting, which is a reputable service so don’t panic if it asks you to start a launcher or something.  GoToMeeting also has a free app if you prefer to watch that way.  You should be able to attend by entering with the meeting ID “xmasbash”.

Chat is separate this year.  Join in by visiting discordapp.com/invite/wGXcsKr.  You shouldn’t have to register an email address or anything. 

Sorry for the inconvenience of two windows, but if you prefer, you can use your computer for one and a mobile device for the other!  hohoho!

And, of course, please consider donating to The Trevor Project.

But enough of my yakking.  What do you say?  Let’s boogie.

We are almost there! As of this posting, the Xmas Bash! is just two days away. Surely you’ve marked your calendar by now, but if your calendar was destroyed in a blaze, here’s the information again.

The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!
Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern

To join in, just come to this very website at the appointed time and click the links. That’s all you’ll have to do!

Yes, links, plural this year. Livestream has served us very well as a service for the past few events, but this year its price is exorbitant. We’re moving on to a different (but still great) service, so that’s fine but…well, it doesn’t have a chat solution that actually works for an event like this.

As such, we will be streaming through GoToMeeting and hosting the chat through Discord.

I know it sucks having to have two browser windows open, but GoToMeeting’s chat functionality wasn’t allowing for more than 10 people to chat openly, which is a huge problem for an event like this. (Thank goodness we tested this crap in advance!)

On the bright side, this means that folks who ONLY tune into GoToMeeting and stay out of Discord will have a 100% family-friendly event, if that’s what they’re looking for.

You can use the links above to create free accounts for each of those sites if you like, and you can donate to The Trevor Project ahead of time so that you’ll have one less window to futz with on the night.

I’ll be opening the stream a half hour or so early, with a test video, so that you’ll have plenty of time to get into both sites and configure your screen the way you like it.

Got that? Come here Saturday at 7 pm Eastern (or 6:30 if you want to get situated), open GoToMeeting to see the stream and Discord to chat, and you’re set.

But…well…what are you set for?

I mentioned before that this year’s stream is a bit less involved than previous years, as I’ve…well, I hate to say it, but I’ve been too busy. I still wanted to make sure I put together a great night for you all, and I’m pretty sure I have, but you’ll notice a few things missing.

In some cases, it’s because I had such little time to coordinate. In others, conflicting schedules. I wouldn’t normally point this stuff out, but I don’t want anyone to assume that the absence of any traditional faces is down to bad blood or personal issues.

You’ll still see plenty of the same things we’ve been enjoying for six solid years now. It’s still the Xmas Bash!

So you’ll get five and a half hours of laughs. Seven forgotten Xmas specials. Loads of bizarre Xmas music videos. Vintage commercials. Host segments. Original songs. Miscellaneous goodies. And the funniest live chat on the internet.

The fact that this stupid thing is going five years after I decided to make you watch the ALF Christmas episode with me is astonishing. More astonishing is the fact that it’s genuinely the most fun I have all year, and I keep hearing that from others as well, for whom the Bash! has become an Xmas tradition.

You guys are great. This live stream is a hell of a lot of work to put together, and each year I assume it will be the last. You’re the reason I keep coming back to do more, so thank you. However much fun you have at this thing, I promise you I have at least twice as much.

I’ll see you in a couple of days. Don’t miss it. I’ve dug up so many things you’ll wish you’ve never seen.

I love you all.

At 7 Eastern, I’ll be testing what I hope is this year’s streaming solution for the Xmas Bash! The room is open right now, so pop on in!

[EDIT: it’s over]

It’s GoToMeeting, which is a legitimate, reputable service so don’t panic if you asks you to install a launcher. It’s not spyware or anything awful. Also, a free app is available, and you can watch that way by entering the meeting ID “xmasbash.”

I’m really hoping this works tonight. If I can get a reliable stream going with decent chat functionality, I’m set…and I hopefully will be for the next few years.

So if you have time, pop over and help me find out if I’ll be relaxing for the next six days or seeking out alternatives in a desperate scramble. Hohoho!

We’ll be watching two specials at the test stream, totaling about an hour. One is Xmas related, but not something I’ve yet found a home for in the Bash! The other is not Xmas related, but I think you will agree it is important viewing for the youth of America.

See you there!

This is your friendly reminder that this year’s Xmas Bash! is one week from today! You won’t want to miss it. You might want to miss it. I have no way of knowing. But! It’s a hell of a lot of fun and you should tune in.

All you have to do is visit this very site at the appointed time!

The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!
Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern

Five hours, seven forgotten Xmas specials, vintage commercials, Xmas music you’ll wish you’ve never heard, and many more surprises.

So, yes, mark your calendars, set a reminder, tattoo it on your chest, whatever you usually do to remember things. You can also RSVP on Facebook, which is not mandatory but which will both remind you and handle pesky time zone calculations for you.

Anyway, the streaming service that has served us so well for the past couple of years is no longer an option, so this year I’m trying something new.

To make sure everything goes smoothly the night of the stream, I’m going to hold a brief test stream tomorrow, Dec. 2, at 7 p.m. Eastern.

Again, just come to this very site at the appointed time. The stream will last for about an hour, and while there won’t be any music or host segments or anything like that, I’ll stream two specials that I haven’t been able to find a place for in the past. One is indeed Xmas themed. The other…is a special.

If you’re bored tomorrow at 7 p.m. Eastern, pop in and help me test the new setup. Otherwise, I’ll see you Dec. 8 for the sixth consecutive year I’ve punished you for simply being alive near Christmas.

It’s nearly time for this year’s Xmas Bash!, and as you can see from the image above, I’m hard at work on getting everything ready.

So mark your calendars and clear your night for…

The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!
Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern

It’s going to be a great one. I know I say that every year, but just ask anyone who’s been to them and you will find that I AM ALWAYS TELLING THE TRUTH.

The Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! is a one-night-only live event, so, seriously, don’t miss it.

It’s a live stream of seven forgotten Xmas specials that I’ve dragged screaming from their graves, where they were quite comfortable. Sprinkled throughout the night are vintage commercials, bizarre Xmas music videos, host segments, original songs, and many more surprises.

Which seven specials will we air? It’s a secret! Each one is like a tiny little Xmas gift you get to unwrap with friends who are probably drunk and who are definitely going to make fun of it. It’s great!

The stream itself is completely family friendly, so if you set it up on your television you won’t have to worry about young ones (or old ones) seeing objectionable content.

No, the objectionable content can instead be found in the chat room! The best part of the stream is the live chat during which we all joke about what we’re seeing and everyone else is funnier than I am. This is the sixth year that we’re doing it, which means it’s already been the funniest night of the year five years running.

All you have to do to attend is visit this very site — the one you are on right now! — at the appointed time.

To make sure you don’t forget, and to have the date/time automatically adjusted for your region, RSVP on Facebook. This is by no means necessary, but it’s nice and convenient. And you can view this year’s trailer there right now!

Once again, we will be soliciting donations for The Trevor Project, which provides mental health counseling for LBGTQ+ youth. Donations are not mandatory at all, to be clear; the Xmas Bash! is free to attend, but The Trevor Project is a worthy and increasingly important cause, and I do hope you’ll consider donating.

In fact, you can donate ahead of time and not have to worry about missing any of the fun that night. Donations go straight to The Trevor Project and don’t come through me at all.

Now for the bad news!

…well, baddish. The Xmas Bash! has grown bigger and bigger each year since its inception, and obviously that couldn’t continue forever. I spent a good portion of my year working on a book that I hope I can tell you about very soon, which meant I had far less time to organize the stream this year.

You’re still getting five solid hours of unbelievable Xmas excrement and you’ll still be attending the single best Xmas party on the face of the Earth, but you may notice some folks and features are absent this year. It’s not for any tragic reason whatsoever; it’s just that I had to streamline things a bit if I were going to have a stream ready at all.

Believe me, though…you’re still in for a hell of a treat.

For now, I’ll drop you just a few hints about what to expect:

• Two children’s shows
• Three sitcoms
• Two shows I didn’t know existed until recently
• One terrible episode of an otherwise great show
• One prime contender for best TV theme tune ever
• One show I’ve been seeking out for years and finally found
• Countless miserable monkeys

Again, don’t miss it. Mark your calendar, RSVP on Facebook, divorce your spouse.

The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!
Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern

That’s just a few weeks away, so feel free to start guessing the holiday horrors I will release upon you.

Here’s everything we’ve screened in the past. You ain’t seen nothing yet.

The 1st Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! (2013):

• ALF – “Oh, Tannerbaum”
• Lassie – “The Christmas Story”
• Sabrina, the Teenage Witch – “Sabrina Claus”
• Major Dad – “The Gift of the Major”
• Charles in Charge – “Home for the Holidays”
• Lost in Space – “Return From Outer Space”
• Family Ties – “A Keaton Christmas Carol”

The 2nd Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2014):

• ALF – “ALF’s Special Christmas”
• The Fat Albert Christmas Special
• Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers – “Alpha’s Magical Christmas”
• Christmas Comes to Pac-Land
• The Partridge Family – “Don’t Bring Your Guns to Town, Santa”
• Santa’s Magic Toy Bag
• Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

The 3rd Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2015):

• ALF: The Animated Series – “A Mid-Goomer Night’s Dream”
• The Bill Cosby Show – “A Christmas Ballad”
• Full House – “Our Very First Christmas Show”
• We Wish You a Turtle Christmas
• Mr. Ed – “Ed’s Christmas Story”
• Perfect Strangers – “A Christmas Story”
• Walker: Texas Ranger – “A Ranger’s Christmas”

The 4th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2016):

• Family Matters – “Christmas is Where the Heart Is”
• The Flying Nun – “Wailing in a Winter Wonderland”
• The Monkees – “The Monkees’ Christmas Show”
• Amos & Andy – “The Christmas Story”
• Welcome Back, Kotter – “Hark, the Sweatkings”
• The Super Mario Bros. Super Show – “Koopa Klaus”
• Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa

The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! (2017):

• The Cosby Show – “Getting to Know You”
• Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers – “I’m Dreaming of a White Ranger”
• Inspector Gadget – “Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas”
• Thunderbirds – “Give or Take a Million”
• Dog With a Blog – “Twas the Fight Before Christmas”
• Good Times – “The Traveling Christmas”
• Kung Fu: The Legend Continues – “A Shaolin Christmas”