Reading too deeply into these things since 1981

Xmas Bash! Update: Art and Music!

November 20th, 2017 | Posted by Philip J Reed in xmas bash - (3 Comments)

The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! is just over two weeks away! Don’t believe me?! Here’s proof:

The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!

Dec. 8, 2017
5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern

That’s just over two weeks away!

Just visit this very site at the appointed time, and join in the fun! If you like, you can register on Facebook and it will handle the time zone calculations and send you a reminder. So you don’t forget. And it’s important that you don’t forget, because it’s going to be great!

I promised updates in the runup to the event, and updates are here!

– Firstly, check out the promotional art! This year it was drawn by friends of the website Adam Lore, Casey Roberson, and Mike Emeritz. Thanks guys! It’s incredible! And I hate the way Willie’s looking at me!

– Secondly, speaking of Adam Lore…the renaissance man will be debuting a brand new song, “The Interplanetary Christmas Tree,” featuring Dr. Airlines. (Yet another friend of the website!) This will be Adam’s fourth year providing an original Christmas song for the stream, and it’s a great one. I’m so excited to share it with you.

– Thirdly, speaking of returning faces…Mistress of Ceremonies Amanda will be back! She’s recording her parts as we speak, and I’m glad, because that will give you a welcome break from my ugly mug.

– Fourthly, speaking of returning faces…Illusionist Wes Iseli will be back! This is also Wes’ fourth year with the Bash!, and he’s excited, as always, to use his talents to help us raise some money for a great cause.

– Fifthly, speaking of new songs, which is something I mentioned a few bullets ago, I wrote a new song! You’ll have to suffer through that, too! I hate you!

– Sixthly, speaking of six, this year’s Xmas Bash! may run a little longer than usual. I’m putting it together bit by bit, and, frankly, I think we might hit six hours this year. Which means it will be the biggest and longest Xmas Bash! ever. And, y’know, for the fifth one…I think that’s fitting. We’ll see how it turns out in the edit!

Finally, seventhly, speaking of seven, you get the picture, there will be seven Christmas specials, as always. It’s just one of many traditions. But which specials? You’ll have to tune in to find out! Here are some hints, though…

Four of them are family shows.
Three of them are sitcoms.
Two of them are not live action.
One of them features talking animals.
Zero of them are Rich Little’s Christmas Carol.

Damn. Too many hints. NOW YOU GUESSED THEM ALL.

Remember. December 8. Tune in.

It’s a good one. Thanks for being a part of this, as always. It’s the single best night of the year, five years running.

I’ll open with the mandatory reminder to clear your calendars. Ahem:

The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!

Dec. 8, 2017
5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern

Yes, the 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! is coming soon. I’ve recorded my host segments, and the image above serves as a little teaser. What manner of shenanigans am I getting up to this year?!

I’ve also coordinated with a few other contributors, and will spend the next few weeks getting everything squared away for the December 8 event. I’m trying to host it a little earlier this year than usual, which may hopefully make it easier for folks who work retail or travel around the holiday to attend.

It’s going to be a great one, that I can promise you. I’ve unearthed some truly incredible Christmas music videos this time around, and I’ll be introducing you to seven more forgotten Christmas specials you’ll wish you never knew existed. It will be great!

One significant change this time around, though, is the charitable aspect.

In previous years, we’ve solicited donations for The Trevor Project. And, well, I certainly still encourage you to donate to that incredibly good cause. (Click here to do just that!) This time, though…we’re doing something a little different.

This year, a good friend of mine was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This came after extended periods of expensive testing, consultation, and unnecessary runaround. The diagnosis certainly helps doctors address the root of her problem, so that’s good news. But, as you can imagine, tumors don’t come cheap.

As a result, she’s in a real pinch financially. I’ve thought long and hard about this, and I’ve decided that I’d like to try to help her defray the cost of her treatment as much as possible. I’m not trying to take attention away from The Trevor Project…but I am trying to help somebody who truly deserves it.

That friend is Emily Suess. Longtime readers may know her, as she’s been a hugely supportive reader and fan from the very beginning of this site. She’s been to every Xmas Bash! so far, and she and her husband actually kicked off many of the running jokes that have become part of the tradition. (It was their suggestion that I died in the first stream…which led to me dying in every stream.)

What’s more, she’s the reason the Xmas Bash! ever had a charitable component to begin with. She’s the one who inspired me to solicit donations for The Trevor Project. She’s the one who helped me to turn it into something bigger (and more important) than a night of mocking bad television. And, frankly, had she not done that, I probably would have lost interest years ago.

It’s not a stretch to say that she’s the reason the Xmas Bash! exists as we know it today. And I would think it very fitting if the event could benefit her in her time of need.

Emily has a YouCaring page, through which she accepts donations directly. As ever, no money comes through me; everything collected through the page goes directly to her.

Please consider donating. I’ll be sharing that link throughout the night on December 8, but you’re welcome (and encouraged) to give early. Which means you won’t have to turn your attention away from “God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen (Gummibär Megamix)” during the stream.

Emily is a great human being. She’s been through so much, and now she’s suffering through so much more. She’s been a consistent source of light and support as long as I’ve known her, and I really hope we can help her stay afloat through this.

More (and happier) announcements to come as the Xmas Bash! approaches. Thanks for reading, thanks for your consideration, and, seriously, set aside December 8. It’s going to be the funniest night of the year.

It’s almost time!

The Xmas Bash! is coming!

The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!

Dec. 8, 2017
5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern

What is the Xmas Bash!? Well, it’s a live stream curated by yours truly, featuring seven rightly forgotten Christmas specials of yesteryear, along with some Christmas music you’ll wish you never heard, vintage commercials, skits, special appearances, and other surprises. It’s a fantastic night, and the hardest you will laugh all year…owing mainly to the incredible group of folks in the chat room.

You can read all about the genesis and evolution of the Xmas Bash! right here, and you can listen to some of our musical interludes from the past to get a sense of what to expect.

In short, if you like trash TV, terrible movies, and half-naked gummy bears, this is the event for you. Don’t miss it!

I have lots more to announce in the coming weeks, but for now: mark your calendars. Or express your interest on Facebook! It will handle the time zone calculations and reminders for you.

We’ve been doing this incredible event for five solid years, and I can promise it’s the best Xmas party you could possibly attend. (Or, at least, that you’ll be invited to.)

Here are the specials we’ve festively suffered through already. What yuletide offal will I forcefeed you this year? Come back to this very site on Dec. 8 at 5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern and find out.

The 1st Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! (2013):

  • ALF – “Oh, Tannerbaum”
  • Lassie – “The Christmas Story”
  • Sabrina, the Teenage Witch – “Sabrina Claus”
  • Major Dad – “The Gift of the Major”
  • Charles in Charge – “Home for the Holidays”
  • Lost in Space – “Return From Outer Space”
  • Family Ties – “A Keaton Christmas Carol”

The 2nd Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2014):

  • ALF – “ALF’s Special Christmas”
  • The Fat Albert Christmas Special
  • Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers – “Alpha’s Magical Christmas”
  • Christmas Comes to Pac-Land
  • The Partridge Family – “Don’t Bring Your Guns to Town, Santa”
  • Santa’s Magic Toy Bag
  • Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

The 3rd Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2015):

  • ALF: The Animated Series – “A Mid-Goomer Night’s Dream”
  • The Bill Cosby Show – “A Christmas Ballad”
  • Full House – “Our Very First Christmas Show”
  • We Wish You a Turtle Christmas
  • Mr. Ed – “Ed’s Christmas Story”
  • Perfect Strangers – “A Christmas Story”
  • Walker: Texas Ranger – “A Ranger’s Christmas”

The 4th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2016):

  • Family Matters – “Christmas is Where the Heart Is”
  • The Flying Nun – “Wailing in a Winter Wonderland”
  • The Monkees – “The Monkees’ Christmas Show”
  • Amos & Andy – “The Christmas Story”
  • Welcome Back, Kotter – “Hark, the Sweatkings”
  • The Super Mario Bros. Super Show – “Koopa Klaus”
  • Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa

More to come!

Happy October! I know, it’s weird, I didn’t expect to live this long, either.

October is one of the months I look forward to most on Noiseless Chatter, and I really hope you do, too. We’ve got a lot coming up, and so I wanted to take a moment to let you know how the coming weeks will unfold.

– Trilogy of Terror: Oh yes. Trilogy of Terror is one of my favorite features to write, and though we’re only into its third year of existence, the feedback and traffic I get from it tells me you enjoy it, too. Each year I write longform essays about three related horror films in the weeks leading up to Halloween. I’ve got some truly memorable ones for you this time around, along with a theme I very much hope you’ll find as fascinating as I do. I have the first two posts drafted already, and just need to take screenshots to finish them off. I’m thrilled to get to share these with you. What films will they be? You’ll have to tune in and find out. The first installment goes live on Oct. 17, the second on Oct. 24, and the third on Oct. 31. I hope you’ll join me.

Red Dwarf: Red Dwarf is coming back again! Since I’ve reviewed the previous two series on this blog, I figure I might as well do this one, too. I’m not exactly sure when it starts — evidently the online premiere dates still aren’t determined? — but I’ll be here, reviewin’ and stuff. Series X was pretty awful with moments of greatness and series XI was pretty great with moments of awfulness, so I have genuinely no idea what to expect from series XII. Maybe the vending machines will have sex.

– Fight, Megaman!: Another of my favorite features is Fight, Megaman!, but that has a rapidly expiring shelflife. I’ve already covered eight of the 10 games I’m going to look at, and I actually just have the final review left to write. We’re almost to the end of the journey…except that I’ve decided to do something a bit more than I’d originally planned. After Fight, Megaman! is complete, I’m going to flesh out my analyses even further, correct a few things, elaborate on a few other things…and publish it as a book. The book will even feature many games I am not covering here, such as Mega Man & Bass, the Game Boy titles, and various spinoffs. I’ll keep you posted as this progresses, but I hope this is something that satisfies everyone. If you don’t want to buy anything, you still get the entire feature, as promised, here for free. If you do want to buy a book, you get some nice bonuses for your money, and hopefully some cool artwork. Stay tuned.

– Fight, Megaman X!: And, hey, speaking of spinoffs…a number of you have asked if I’ll cover the Mega Man X series next. The answer has to be no; I’m not as familiar with or in love with that series as I am with the classic style games. But we will be covering them here after all! Friend of the website Samurai Karasu will pick up when Fight, Megaman! leaves off. I’m very much looking forward to reading those along with you.

– 5th Annual Xmas Bash!: We’re talking about all my favorite Noiseless Chatter things today. The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! is coming soon. I’ll post details as soon as I have them, but you can expect another five hours of forgotten Xmas specials, holiday commercials, bizarre Christmas music videos, the best live chat on the internet, and so much more. I’ve made a lot of progress putting the stream together already, and after I finish Trilogy of Terror, work will start on that in earnest. If you’ve joined us before, I hope you can make it out again. And if you haven’t…really, come on now. It’s a live stream of vintage Xmas dreck, commentated in real time by people much funnier than me. (Such as you!) Be there!

– Choose Your Own Advent: Last year I debuted a Choose Your Own Advent feature, in which I published an essay about a different novel every day between Dec. 1 and Dec. 24. I have an idea for bringing the feature back this year…but it will really come down to how much time I have. My fingers are crossed, but obviously my priority will be the Xmas Bash! Therefore, if this is a feature you really want to see again…speak now!

Anyway, that’s just a taste of what to expect, and an excuse for me to gush a bit early about Trilogy of Terror. It’s going to be great, and I’m excited to hear your thoughts on what I’ve chosen to exhume this year.

I’ll see you soon!

Hello, everybody! Remember me? The guy who used to write stuff?

Well, I’m not dead! In fact, three things have been occupying my time lately. I know it can get frustrating when I’m only posting Better Call Saul reviews and infrequent installments of Fight, Megaman!, but that’s really because it’s all I’ve had time to do lately.

I’ll explain those reasons right now, but if you don’t care to read them, please skip to the last one. There’s something I’d like you to do, and it’s fun. I SAID IT IS FUN.

Hail Storm: Some of you may know that a couple of weeks ago, the Denver area experienced catastrophic hail. That’s not me being dramatic (for once!); it was literally a catastrophe, doing millions of dollars of damage to homes, businesses, construction projects, and — of course — cars. It probably sounds silly if you weren’t here to experience it, but, sure enough, the hail storm totaled my car. Mine was just one claim Progressive was handling out of 11,000…due to this storm alone. So, much of my time has been taken up by dealing with the insurance company, buying a new car, and getting rid of my old one. Which was kind of sad to me, as I took really good care of that car and it had very low mileage. It deserved a better fate than that. Oh, and, buying a new car is expensive and it sucks so there’s that part, too.

Persona 5: Persona 5 came out, and what free time I have had has pretty much been spent in the company of the Phantom Thieves. I posted about this on the Facebook page as well, so if you ever think I died, check that page to be sure! I have a lot of ideas for essays I could write about it, and I’m sure tempted to, especially now that I’ve finished the game…but, then again, I never got around to writing my Persona 4 essay. Or my Persona 3 essay. Those might still happen, as might this one, but I know better than to promise it. Oh, hey, I had one brewing about Final Fantasy XV, too. I’m sure doing a lot of not-writing for a writer!

5th Annual Xmas Bash: Oh yes, it’s time! Just kidding. It’s not. December is time, and it’s not December. But I was talking to a friend about this year’s Xmas Bash, shooting ideas back and forth, and the next thing I knew, I wanted to get working on the stream. And…most of it’s done, now! I have all of our television episodes and musical interludes picked out and waiting. I still need to insert commercials and, of course, whatever unique material we shoot, but I’m excited, and I know it’s going to be a really great stream. I’ll announce details as far ahead of time as possible, so stay tuned.

And, hey, here’s something you can do for me:

Complete the Xmas Bash survey. It’s only two questions, and all you have to do is pick your five favorite specials and five favorite musical moments from past Xmas Bashes.

Well, you know, “favorites.” Not necessarily the ones you thought were best, but the ones you most enjoyed watching in a Bash context.

That’s it! It would be pretty helpful to me, as I have an idea of what I can do with the results. Again, this year’s stream is largely complete, so don’t worry about me changing anything. I’ll be using this info for something else, and I think you’ll like it.

So, yes, please, vote for your favorites. It’ll only take a moment.

Oh, and if you need a reminder of which song is which, this handy Xmas Bash playlist contains them all.

And I won’t tell anyone if you put Gummibar Mega Mix on repeat. We’ve all done it, and we’re all friends here.

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