Xmas Bash in ONE WEEK! Help me test?

This is your friendly reminder that this year’s Xmas Bash! is one week from today! You won’t want to miss it. You might want to miss it. I have no way of knowing. But! It’s a hell of a lot of fun and you should tune in.

All you have to do is visit this very site at the appointed time!

The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!
Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern

Five hours, seven forgotten Xmas specials, vintage commercials, Xmas music you’ll wish you’ve never heard, and many more surprises.

So, yes, mark your calendars, set a reminder, tattoo it on your chest, whatever you usually do to remember things. You can also RSVP on Facebook, which is not mandatory but which will both remind you and handle pesky time zone calculations for you.

Anyway, the streaming service that has served us so well for the past couple of years is no longer an option, so this year I’m trying something new.

To make sure everything goes smoothly the night of the stream, I’m going to hold a brief test stream tomorrow, Dec. 2, at 7 p.m. Eastern.

Again, just come to this very site at the appointed time. The stream will last for about an hour, and while there won’t be any music or host segments or anything like that, I’ll stream two specials that I haven’t been able to find a place for in the past. One is indeed Xmas themed. The other…is a special.

If you’re bored tomorrow at 7 p.m. Eastern, pop in and help me test the new setup. Otherwise, I’ll see you Dec. 8 for the sixth consecutive year I’ve punished you for simply being alive near Christmas.

Dec. 8: The 6th Annual Xmas Bash!

It’s nearly time for this year’s Xmas Bash!, and as you can see from the image above, I’m hard at work on getting everything ready.

So mark your calendars and clear your night for…

The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!
Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern

It’s going to be a great one. I know I say that every year, but just ask anyone who’s been to them and you will find that I AM ALWAYS TELLING THE TRUTH.

The Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! is a one-night-only live event, so, seriously, don’t miss it.

It’s a live stream of seven forgotten Xmas specials that I’ve dragged screaming from their graves, where they were quite comfortable. Sprinkled throughout the night are vintage commercials, bizarre Xmas music videos, host segments, original songs, and many more surprises.

Which seven specials will we air? It’s a secret! Each one is like a tiny little Xmas gift you get to unwrap with friends who are probably drunk and who are definitely going to make fun of it. It’s great!

The stream itself is completely family friendly, so if you set it up on your television you won’t have to worry about young ones (or old ones) seeing objectionable content.

No, the objectionable content can instead be found in the chat room! The best part of the stream is the live chat during which we all joke about what we’re seeing and everyone else is funnier than I am. This is the sixth year that we’re doing it, which means it’s already been the funniest night of the year five years running.

All you have to do to attend is visit this very site — the one you are on right now! — at the appointed time.

To make sure you don’t forget, and to have the date/time automatically adjusted for your region, RSVP on Facebook. This is by no means necessary, but it’s nice and convenient. And you can view this year’s trailer there right now!

Once again, we will be soliciting donations for The Trevor Project, which provides mental health counseling for LBGTQ+ youth. Donations are not mandatory at all, to be clear; the Xmas Bash! is free to attend, but The Trevor Project is a worthy and increasingly important cause, and I do hope you’ll consider donating.

In fact, you can donate ahead of time and not have to worry about missing any of the fun that night. Donations go straight to The Trevor Project and don’t come through me at all.

Now for the bad news!

…well, baddish. The Xmas Bash! has grown bigger and bigger each year since its inception, and obviously that couldn’t continue forever. I spent a good portion of my year working on a book that I hope I can tell you about very soon, which meant I had far less time to organize the stream this year.

You’re still getting five solid hours of unbelievable Xmas excrement and you’ll still be attending the single best Xmas party on the face of the Earth, but you may notice some folks and features are absent this year. It’s not for any tragic reason whatsoever; it’s just that I had to streamline things a bit if I were going to have a stream ready at all.

Believe me, though…you’re still in for a hell of a treat.

For now, I’ll drop you just a few hints about what to expect:

  • Two children’s shows
  • Three sitcoms
  • Two shows I didn’t know existed until recently
  • One terrible episode of an otherwise great show
  • One prime contender for best TV theme tune ever
  • One show I’ve been seeking out for years and finally found
  • Countless miserable monkeys

Again, don’t miss it. Mark your calendar, RSVP on Facebook, divorce your spouse.

The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!
Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern

That’s just a few weeks away, so feel free to start guessing the holiday horrors I will release upon you.

Here’s everything we’ve screened in the past. You ain’t seen nothing yet.

The 1st Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! (2013):

  • ALF – “Oh, Tannerbaum”
  • Lassie – “The Christmas Story”
  • Sabrina, the Teenage Witch – “Sabrina Claus”
  • Major Dad – “The Gift of the Major”
  • Charles in Charge – “Home for the Holidays”
  • Lost in Space – “Return From Outer Space”
  • Family Ties – “A Keaton Christmas Carol”

The 2nd Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2014):

  • ALF – “ALF’s Special Christmas”
  • The Fat Albert Christmas Special
  • Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers – “Alpha’s Magical Christmas”
  • Christmas Comes to Pac-Land
  • The Partridge Family – “Don’t Bring Your Guns to Town, Santa”
  • Santa’s Magic Toy Bag
  • Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

The 3rd Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2015):

  • ALF: The Animated Series – “A Mid-Goomer Night’s Dream”
  • The Bill Cosby Show – “A Christmas Ballad”
  • Full House – “Our Very First Christmas Show”
  • We Wish You a Turtle Christmas
  • Mr. Ed – “Ed’s Christmas Story”
  • Perfect Strangers – “A Christmas Story”
  • Walker: Texas Ranger – “A Ranger’s Christmas”

The 4th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2016):

  • Family Matters – “Christmas is Where the Heart Is”
  • The Flying Nun – “Wailing in a Winter Wonderland”
  • The Monkees – “The Monkees’ Christmas Show”
  • Amos & Andy – “The Christmas Story”
  • Welcome Back, Kotter – “Hark, the Sweatkings”
  • The Super Mario Bros. Super Show – “Koopa Klaus”
  • Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa

The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! (2017):

  • The Cosby Show – “Getting to Know You”
  • Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers – “I’m Dreaming of a White Ranger”
  • Inspector Gadget – “Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas”
  • Thunderbirds – “Give or Take a Million”
  • Dog With a Blog – “Twas the Fight Before Christmas”
  • Good Times – “The Traveling Christmas”
  • Kung Fu: The Legend Continues – “A Shaolin Christmas”

Announcing: Halloween and Christmas!

Happy Labor Day! Let’s talk about Halloween and Christmas.

The two biggest holidays for this blog are closer than you may realize. I recently announced my Halloween plans on the official Facebook page, so be sure to follow that if you aren’t already. It’s sometimes easier for me to push quick news there if I don’t have time to write an actual post.

In short, I’ve been busy with the book lately, so don’t worry…I haven’t stopped writing, even if this blog seems a bit slow lately. You’re going to get a really great, long, intensive piece in physical form, and it’s horror-related, so I know it’s something you’ll enjoy. Just be patient; I will make the official announcement as soon as I can.

To make up for my online absence, though, this year’s Trilogy of Terror feature will be getting a bonus entry in the form of the long-overdue return of Fiction Into Film.

Fiction Into Film is a series I deeply enjoy writing for, and one I truly love, but it’s also one that takes a massive amount of work, time, and focus. As such, I never quite get to it. There’s always something else I could (or should…) be doing.

Now, though, I’ve set aside the time. Not only because I want to give you something great to read, but because it fits perfectly into this year’s Trilogy of Terror theme.

The films I’m covering this year follow the theme of The Most Dangerous Games. That is to say, they each center upon competitions of life and death. And every one of them has a unique approach to that concept.

If you’d like to follow along this year, here are the films we’ll be covering, and the dates on which the features go live.

Oct. 10 – Fiction Into Film: The Running Man (1982/1987)
Oct. 17 – Trilogy of Terror: Deathrow Gameshow (1987)
Oct. 24 – Trilogy of Terror: Rollerball (1975)
Oct. 31 – Trilogy of Terror: Solarbabies (1986)

Each of these films should be fairly easy to find, and you might get lucky and see a few of them available for streaming. You’ve got time to look, if you’re interested in checking them out beforehand!

In addition, well…I may as well announce the date and time of this year’s Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!

This will be the sixth time we all gather ’round the internet to enjoy five hours’ worth of forgotten Christmas specials, bizarre Christmas music, vintage commercials, and so much more.

All you have to do is visit this very website at the following time, and enjoy the Xmas Bashing.

The 6th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!
Saturday Dec. 8, 7 p.m. Eastern

What will we be watching? I can’t tell you yet! But I have been working on the stream as well as the book (and as well as the upcoming Halloween posts!) and I know you’re going to wish I never dragged any of this crap back up and made you witness it.

It will be great!

As a refresher, here are the holly jolly trainwrecks we enjoyed in the past five Bashes.

The 1st Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! (2013):

  • ALF – “Oh, Tannerbaum”
  • Lassie – “The Christmas Story”
  • Sabrina, the Teenage Witch – “Sabrina Claus”
  • Major Dad – “The Gift of the Major”
  • Charles in Charge – “Home for the Holidays”
  • Lost in Space – “Return From Outer Space”
  • Family Ties – “A Keaton Christmas Carol”

The 2nd Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2014):

  • ALF – “ALF’s Special Christmas”
  • The Fat Albert Christmas Special
  • Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers – “Alpha’s Magical Christmas”
  • Christmas Comes to Pac-Land
  • The Partridge Family – “Don’t Bring Your Guns to Town, Santa”
  • Santa’s Magic Toy Bag
  • Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

The 3rd Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2015):

  • ALF: The Animated Series – “A Mid-Goomer Night’s Dream”
  • The Bill Cosby Show – “A Christmas Ballad”
  • Full House – “Our Very First Christmas Show”
  • We Wish You a Turtle Christmas
  • Mr. Ed – “Ed’s Christmas Story”
  • Perfect Strangers – “A Christmas Story”
  • Walker: Texas Ranger – “A Ranger’s Christmas”

The 4th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash (2016):

  • Family Matters – “Christmas is Where the Heart Is”
  • The Flying Nun – “Wailing in a Winter Wonderland”
  • The Monkees – “The Monkees’ Christmas Show”
  • Amos & Andy – “The Christmas Story”
  • Welcome Back, Kotter – “Hark, the Sweatkings”
  • The Super Mario Bros. Super Show – “Koopa Klaus”
  • Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa

The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! (2017):

  • The Cosby Show – “Getting to Know You”
  • Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers – “I’m Dreaming of a White Ranger”
  • Inspector Gadget – “Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas”
  • Thunderbirds – “Give or Take a Million”
  • Dog With a Blog – “Twas the Fight Before Christmas”
  • Good Times – “The Traveling Christmas”
  • Kung Fu: The Legend Continues – “A Shaolin Christmas”

You may not see it here just now, but I’m working hard on getting some great things together.

Join me, won’t you? And thanks, as ever, for your patience and support. We’ll be together for the important holidays.

I Survived Xmas Bash 5! and all I got was this lousy download.

I hope you enjoyed this year’s Xmas Bash! Thanks for drilling with me this year! Now I’m looking forward to not thinking about it for around 20 minutes, before I start planning the next one.

In case you need to reference the episodes for your therapist, tonight we watched…

The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash! (2017):

  • The Cosby Show – “Getting to Know You”
  • Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers – “I’m Dreaming of a White Ranger”
  • Inspector Gadget – “Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas”
  • Thunderbirds – “Give or Take a Million”
  • Dog With a Blog – “Twas the Fight Before Christmas”
  • Good Times – “The Traveling Christmas”
  • Kung Fu: The Legend Continues – “A Shaolin Christmas”

As a special gift, please enjoy this complementary download of Now That’s What I Call Xmas Bash! Vol. 1. This mix includes songs from each of the previous Bash!es, barring the first which was not musical in the slightest. There’s also a special unused demo from Adam Lore.

Download it. Respect it. Love it. Bring it to Xmas parties this year and make everybody hate you. Cruise through the bad part of town with your windows down blaring “Taco Bell Christmas.” LIVE IT UP

(DOWNLOAD)

1) Ho Ho Ho, It’s Christmas Time — Alix & Company
2) Excuse My Christmas — Jan Terri
3) All I Want for Christmas is a Time Machine — Adam Lore
4) Johnny Elf — Poodlebug
5) Merry Christmas Santa Claus (You’re a Lovely Guy) — Max Headroom
6) Gummibär Christmas Megamix – Gummibär & Friends
7) Have a Cheeky Christmas — The Cheeky Girls
8) Bad on Christmas — Annie Perkins & Rogue
9) A Taco Bell Christmas — Hot Dad
10) Try the Christmas Drink! — Weird Paul Petroskey
11) Hey Mr. Christmas (demo) — Adam Lore
12) The Story of Christmas — Mocomi Kids
13) Rock and Roll Santa — Jan Terri
14) I Love Christmas — Michael Boyd
15) 12 Days of Turtle Christmas — Master Splinter and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
16) Christmas at the Donut Shop — Tom Barlow
17) A Prozac Christmas — Accordion Joe
18) It’s Damn Near Christmas — Adam Lore
19) All I Want for Christmas is You — Gabe the Dog
20) A Very Merry Christmas — The Maxwell Moment

Many thanks to Matthew Wong for the cover image!

I hope you had a great time tonight. I know I did.

I love you all. Merry Christmas.

Xmas Bash 5 is go!

Ho ho ho, it’s Xmas Bash! time! (Almost.)

To join in the fun, just click this link!

I’m posting this reminder almost exactly 24 hours before it begins, so be sure to tune in at the following time:

The 5th Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!

Dec. 8, 2017
5 pm Mountain / 7 pm Eastern

That’s it! You get the link early this year, because you’ve all been good little boys and girls, so be sure to register a free account so you can join in the rowdy fun in the chatroom and make fun of me. I can take it! Really, I can’t!

Also, we will be soliciting donations throughout the night to defray medical costs for Emily Suess. You can of course feel free to donate to her ahead of time as well, so you won’t have to take your eyes off all the awful things I’m going to show you.

Christmas specials, music, vintage commercials, comedy, magic, and so much more. Don’t miss it!

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