TONIGHT: Xmas Bash!!! 8 Eastern!

The 3rd Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!!!

One final reminder to tune in tonight for the 3rd Annual Xmas Bash!!! It starts at 8 PM Eastern, and I’ll post the link at 7 PM Eastern to give you time to register an account and settle in for the show, so get here early if you can!

If you can’t get here early — and, in fact, get here late — that’s okay, too. We’ll be going for five hours. There’s just that much holiday cheer to spread! Or crappy TV to watch. One of those two things.

Remember: tonight at 8 Eastern! I’ll see you there! hohohohohohoho hoho!

EDIT: If you’d like to donate to The Trevor Project ahead of the stream, thereby not having to worry about missing any great stuff, you can do so right now by clicking here. It’s the same page as last year, so you may already see your name. Please don’t let that stop you from giving this year, even if it’s just a dollar or two. Thank you!

Reminder: The 3rd Annual Xmas Bash!!! is Tomorrow!

The ALF extended universe is weird.Credit to loyal and longtime reader Jerod for the image…which happens to serve as a great reminder: tomorrow is the 3rd Annual Xmas Bash!!! To join in the fun, simply come to this very site at 8 P.M. Eastern.

If you need help figuring out when that is for you, try this thing. New York is their point of reference for Eastern time, so set that for 8:00 PM and follow the line to see where you are. While you’re doing that, take some time to think about how fucking annoying and outdated time zones are.

Be sure to tune in! If you’re a little bit late, that’s okay! The stream will run for five full hours, just like last year.

And speaking of years past: it just wouldn’t be the Xmas Bash!!! without significant technical difficulties, amirite??

See, I was planning on using StreamUp again this year, since it worked out fine last time around. But evidently it’s no longer compatible with my broadcasting software, so I’m using something else. Right now it seems to work well, but fingers crossed. I’ll leave the link here tomorrow night, starting at around 7:00 PM Eastern. That’ll give you time to set up an account if you want to join in the chat, as well as mix up a good, stiff drink.

One thing I do want to put out there for discussion is what to do moving forward. Does anyone out there have any better solutions than finding a streaming site and hoping they don’t boot us for copyrighted material? Seriously…let me know. I want to keep this happening on a yearly basis, and I’d really like to have a more reliable solution in place. Please let me know if you have any advice or recommendations.

Also: the host segments! This year we’ll be sharing Martin Klein’s multi-part documentary about the 3rd Annual Xmas Bash!!! itself, so you can peek behind the curtain and see how we intend to meet our modest fundraising goal of $140 million.

…actually, we’re doing that because the footage we shot for the host segments wasn’t quite up to snuff. The audio was…audible, but not much beyond that, and I really wanted to give you guys a better product. At some point I’ll edit and share what we originally envisioned, but I’d rather build something new that does work than center the night around something that doesn’t.

I think you’ll like it. And if you don’t, take solace in the fact that it’s still better than what you would have gotten otherwise!

If you can’t make it to the stream (there’s some Star Search movie or something coming out Friday, I think?) remember that we’ll be hosting an encore screening on Wednesday the 23rd.

And don’t forget to come back on Monday, for this month’s very festive, very crabby Fiction into Film. It’s beginning to look a lot like Xmas, as they say in the hymn!

Anyway, that might be the last you hear from me before the stream. I look forward to seeing all of you there, and thank you, again, for making this my favorite time of year. (Really. I mean that.)

Here’s a completely unspoilery screenshot. OR IS IT?? What goodies lie along that timeline?! I’ll never tell!!! Until tomorrow, when it doesn’t matter anymore.

Xmas Bash!!!

Xmas Bash!!! Update: Image to Share, and More News!

The 3rd Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!!!

I promised you more announcements ahead of the Xmas Bash!!!, and I always keep my word as long as it’s something I want to do.

So, here! Announcements!

Firstly, as you can see above, we have a brand new, extremely awesome banner image designed by the endlessly talented Adam Lore.

Adam’s a longtime lurker here so you may not recognize the name, but you may recognize this:

That’s the song he wrote for last year’s Xmas Bash!!, so this is actually a two part announcement. Not only did he design a great new image, but he’ll be writing a new song for this year’s stream!

Awesome news, but it comes with a request: can you share Adam’s artwork above (or even just share this post; the artwork should come with it) so that we can have our biggest audience ever, raise even more money for The Trevor Project, and basically let everyone know that they have a holiday alternative to spending time with their families and loved ones?

Seriously, I’d appreciate it!

We’ll also have another returning face from last year: illusionist Wes Iseli. He’s still working on his contribution so I couldn’t tell you what he has planned even if I wanted to spoil things, but he’s on board again to help us celebrate, and I’m thrilled to have him back. Be sure to check him out!

I’d love to embed the videos he did last year, but I learned that youtube flagged the archived stream for copyright reasons — even though I cut out all the commercials and Xmas specials — so I can’t do that right now. I’ll re-post it at some point when I have time to edit around their increasing pickiness.

As a reminder, here’s how you can join in the fun:

Just come here, to, at the following dates/times…

Friday, December 18
8 P.M. Eastern Time

Wednesday, December 23 [encore stream]
8 P.M. Eastern Time

That’s absolutely it! It’s free to attend, and the video will play right in your browser. There will also be a link to join the live chat, so do that, because it’s hilarious.

Now for the bad-ish news: No ALF review this week. Sorry, but I still have a lot of work to do on the stream, and I want to make sure that gets my attention. The bright side? In place of ALF, which you’ll just get next week anyway, you’re getting five hours of awesome holiday entertainment. It’s a fair trade, trust me!

Anyway, that’s all for now. I have more that I may announce later…or which I may decide to keep a secret until the stream itself. Either way, this is all just the tip of the iceberg.

Before I go, I’ll leave you with a few very basic details about the seven Xmas specials we’ll be screening:

  • Two of them are kids’ shows
  • Three of them are sitcoms
  • Two of them are dramas
  • Four of them have no laugh track
  • Six are from longer-running series; one is a one-off special

Any guesses / worries as to what we might be in for? I’ll neither confirm nor deny any guesses, but if you’re right about one of them you’ll be crowned The King of Christmas! (To claim your prize, just talk to your mayor. He’ll know what I’m talking about.)

If you haven’t already, check out the previous reveals, and the official announcement of the stream itself!

Then starve yourself for a week because on Friday I am going to stuff you full of FUN.

hohohohhoh ohohh hoohhohohoho hohoho ohohohho hohohoh hohoho

Xmas Bash!!! Update: The Return of Amanda!


We’re getting closer and closer to the 3rd Annual Xmas Bash!!! I’d like to remind you of the dates and times, because if you miss it you’ve more or less ruined Xmas. And I’d also like to give you a few ideas of what to expect when you tune in.

So, come on now, mark your calendars! All you need to do is come to this very site, the one you’re reading right now, at the following times:

Friday, December 18
8 P.M. Eastern Time

Wednesday, December 23 [encore stream]
8 P.M. Eastern Time

It’s the same stream each time, but there will be live chat available on each night, so if you tune in for both showings you’ll still have a unique experience!

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with only making it to one showing, and I am guaranteeing a great time.

For those who don’t know, the Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!!! is a hand-picked assortment of Xmas specials from bygone years, collected and screened for your enjoyment, riffing, and begrudging appreciation. It’s basically a chance for funny people to come together and enjoy each other’s company over a steaming cup of rightly forgotten holiday garbage.

Every year there’s a live chat room, which is where the real fun is, so make sure you log in and join the fun. And as of last year, the event benefits The Trevor Project. All donations are optional, and there’s no cost or anything to attend, but the opportunity to contribute is there, and it’s certainly appreciated if you do.

Now, a few announcements:

– My hero and yours Amanda will be returning to provide interstitial entertainment. Amanda was new to the stream last year, but she went over great and I’m very, very happy to have her back. In real life Amanda is one of the warmest, most inspiring, most all-around pleasant people I know…in the stream, she’s another story. In fact, I felt a little bad about the lines I gave her last year, because they were slightly creepy and mildly psychotic. Imagine my joy when she recorded them in a way that was even more creepy and thoroughly psychotic. This year…well, I won’t spoil anything. But now that I know what she’s capable of, I’ll be sure to take advantage of that.

– Also returning from last year: vintage commercials. Only this time I’ve drilled down and unearthed a cache of truly odd ones from some Oklahoma affiliate, and I really hope you enjoy. They’re not specifically Xmas themed this year, but the specials are (and so is something else…read on), so I think we can keep the spirit alive through more general commercial breaks. This part is a bit of an experiment, but I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think you’d enjoy it…and they’re bizarre enough to warrant the focus. If nothing else, they’ll make you damned glad you don’t live in Oklahoma. (Unless you do, in which case: stop that.)

– …and finally (for this batch of announcements, anyway), a lot of folks have told me how much they enjoyed the smaller pieces that aired between the specials last year. These might have been excerpts from longer productions or just insane little music videos I refused to let rest in peace, but you guys liked them and I enjoyed the way they kept the pace up, so: more music this year! Two holiday non-classic music videos will air during every break between specials, and I couldn’t be happier to share some of this stuff with you. I hope you hate it in the best way. (Actually, I cleverly included one song that I genuinely enjoy. See if you can identify it and make me lose all credibility!)

That’s all for now. I will have some more fun stuff to announce in the meantime.

Are you excited?

I’m absolutely pumped. The Xmas Bash!!! gets better every year, and I hope you enjoy. I do it all for you!

Announcing: The Noiseless Chatter 3rd Annual Xmas Bash!!!

The Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!!!

Hohohohohohoho!! I hope you are eating Thanksgiving foods, because it’s time to talk about Xmas! Specifically, The Third Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!!!

For those who don’t know, the Xmas Bash!!! is pretty much the only reason anyone looks forward to the holidays. For the third year in a row I will be hand-picking an assortment of terrible, terrible, really, truly terrible Xmas specials, songs, and other curios from the annals of pop culture history. And we’ll watch them live, together, making fun of them and keeping each other sane in real time.

Honestly, it’s great. It’s like being at an Xmas party without having to put on pants, and the people there are actually really nice and they’re not wearing pants, either.

And once again, donations will be accepted for The Trevor Project, providing counseling and suicide prevention services for LGTBQ youths. It’s an important charity to me, and if you can spare anything at all to help those who need such support the most, I’d appreciate it deeply.

All you need to do is come here on the nights in question, and you should see the video player ready to go. Tune in…and make a point of joining the chat room. Lots of you guys are hilarious, and I’ll be drunk.

The dates and times are as follows:

Friday, December 18
8 P.M. Eastern Time

Wednesday, December 23 [encore stream]
8 P.M. Eastern Time

Yes, by popular demand I will be hosting the event two nights this year. It’ll be the same stream each time, but obviously the live chat will be different each night, so if you decide to tune in twice, great! Hopefully this will be more convenient for people who weren’t able to tune in last year.

The content itself is family friendly, so if you’d like to watch a string of cheesy Xmas specials on the big screen, you won’t have to worry about your Cousin Joey having nightmares for a week. The chatroom is uncensored, however, so be warned: someone may joke about farts.

There’s no way I could possibly oversell this fact: this is going to be the best Xmas Bash!!! yet. I’ve been dredging up specials over the course of the past few months, and they’re incredible. It’ll be a batch of seven, and you won’t be able to forget any of them, no matter how hard you try!

Why seven? Well, the first year our party got shut down by the anti-Xmas Bash!!! po-po, even though the stream wasn’t over. That meant that only seven specials were screened…but that was actually a pretty cool number, so I picked another seven last year. It’s tradition! AN XMAS TRADITION

What will you see when you tune in? I don’t want to spoil any surprises, but I do like to make lists of things, so here’s everything we watched at the previous two events. Hopefully this will make you really upset if you missed either of them. Oh, and it might give you some idea of what to expect this year.

The First Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!

  • ALF, “Oh, Tannerbaum”
  • Lassie, “The Christmas Story”
  • Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, “Sabrina Claus”
  • Major Dad, “The Gift of the Major”
  • Charles in Charge, “Home for the Holidays”
  • Lost in Space, “Return From Outer Space”
  • Family Ties, “A Keaton Christmas Carol”

The Second Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!!

  • ALF, “ALF’s Special Christmas”
  • The Fat Albert Christmas Special
  • Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, “Alpha’s Magical Christmas”
  • Christmas Comes to Pac-Land
  • The Partridge Family, “Don’t Bring Your Guns to Town, Santa”
  • Santa’s Magic Toy Bag
  • Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

This year I think we’ll have the best balance of well-intentioned garbage and out-and-out crap yet. And nothing, I promise, is as unwatchable as Santa’s Magic Toy Bag. Seriously, what an irredeemable pile of shit that was.

Anyway, tune in! You’ll see more reminders in the weeks to come, but I wanted to get you the dates and times as soon as I could, so that you could tell your loved ones that you’ll be unavailable to speak with them.

If you have any last-minute requests, demands, or threats, get them in now.

The Third Annual Noiseless Chatter Xmas Bash!!! I’ll see you there!

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